Duke basketball: The smirk that shall enrage generations of Tar Heels

The next Duke basketball CEO already owns one brand of Tar Heel kryptonite.

He’s got the “it” factor. It is in his facial expressions. It is what gets under the skin of UNC basketball fans. It is that certain type of Duke basketball look that exudes intelligence and confidence while infuriating those who secretly wish they had the brainpower to understand it.

Jon Scheyer. Mike Krzyzewski’s successor-in-waiting. A 33-year-old former national champ — both as a Duke basketball player and assistant — with pure Blue Devil blood.

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Absolutely endearing to his own fanbase. Absolutely disgusting from the perspective of Tar Heels eight miles down Tobacco Road.

Yes, it is just right.

A Duke basketball face preparing to outrival the rival

Forget that Jon Scheyer has never been a head coach, outside of his 1-0 record last season as the acting Duke basketball chief in Mike Krzyzewski’s absence.

Forget that, the season after next, he’s bound to encounter more media pressure than any new head coach in the history of college hoops. Forget that the NCAA landscape is pretty much changing by the day. Forget that the shoes he’s asked to fill are what haters would bitterly refer to as those of a giant “rat” (Coach K).

He’ll be OK.

How do I know? As a lifelong Duke basketball fanatic, it is quite clear: his smirk tells me so.

Plus, don’t ever forget that back on March 6, 2010, Scheyer’s “it” factor was on full display, to the tune of his 20 points, seven assists, five rebounds, and all of zero turnovers while orchestrating an 82-50 Senior Night fiesta in what was the last time he faced rival UNC on the court.

Now, not only is it obvious from his sly grin that Scheyer enjoys a higher IQ than most of the slimy boneheads he’ll be competing against on the recruiting trail, but his passion, maturity, thoughtfulness, charm, and Blue Devil loyalty are also sure to impress top-shelf prospects and their parents. Besides, he already wears the tag of the nation’s top recruiter these past few years.

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And currently, his ability to relate to players is perhaps unrivaled. After all, if not for his serious eye injury shortly after his Duke basketball playing days came to an end after cutting down April nets as a senior in 2010, then Scheyer would probably school many 2021-22 Blue Devils in a game of 1-on-1.

Best of all, nobody will ever have to worry about Scheyer bolting Durham for greener pastures. Like it or not, chances are he’ll never make a decision of his own accord to be anywhere other than where the crops blaze forth in an idyllic shade of Duke blue.

No, Scheyer was born for this. Exactly this.

You can see it in his eyes, smile, and overall demeanor during his press conference on Friday. Simply put, his headstrong appearance and beyond-his-years wisdom are those of a past, present, and future Dukie treasure.

Without a doubt.

Therefore, it wouldn’t be a surprise at all if, as was the case with Coach K when he took the job in 1980, Scheyer’s replacement hasn’t even been born yet.

With that in mind, we will all just have to wait and see which entertaining rodent comparisons his face ultimately attracts from UNC clowns and the likes in the years to come. Hopefully, these sad detractors will somehow manage to muster up just enough creativity to come up with something other than a rat.

That said, I suspect they’ll just settle for “Ratface Jr.” or something like that as they, time and again, watch in terror as Scheyer skirts their traps to continue feasting on the hopes of all their favorite teams.

Yet maybe this is actually a fitting nickname when considering that the zodiac portrays rats as “quick-witted, resourceful, and smart…with rich imaginations and sharp observations.”

As for my own view on the subject, I just think Jon Scheyer looks like that so-called dork in high school who wound up stealing all your girlfriends via his wit and abundant signs of coming success.

Simple as that.