Duke basketball: 34 jokes one Kentucky one-and-done told all at once

Nearing the 18-month anniversary of a memorable blowout by a Duke basketball symphony of five-star freshmen, one Kentucky comic is sticking with his woulda-coulda-shoulda schtick.

Wildcats bark? Believe it or not, some of the kittens do. No worries, though, for they don’t bite. Truth be told, there’s a simple explanation for Wednesday’s what-if yelp from a former one-and-done Kentucky Wildcat: Tyler Herro woofs by way of jokes in order to cope with the 2018-19 Duke basketball team’s unapologetically cruel treatment of ‘Cats.

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Impressively, Herro managed to tell 34 such knee-slappers all at once during the comedy routine he delivered in his Instagram Live sitdown with ESPN analyst Jordan Schultz. And the 6-foot-5 guard, now in his first season with the Miami Heat, even managed to keep a straight face. Well, almost. Understandably, the funny man ducked out of the camera’s view for his concluding two-word affirmation:

“We went out and played Duke, and they beat us by like 50. It was bad…That was just us not ready. If we had seen them at the end of the year, we would’ve beat ’em. No question.”

OK, let’s dissect the brilliance of Herro’s rib-tickler. First, 34 points, not 50, represented the actual margin of the Blue Devils’ victory on that unforgettable Nov. 6 night at the Champions Classic in Indianapolis.

Sure, the score would’ve been severely more lopsided than 118-84 had Duke basketball head coach Mike Krzyzewski not been kind enough to call off his three rookie dogs: rabid pitbull RJ Barrett, 33 points in 32 minutes; winged English mastiff Zion Williamson, 28 points in 23 minutes; and ‘Cat-ball retriever Cam Reddish, 22 points and four steals in 24 minutes.

Of course, the ultimate comedic genius of Herro’s one-liner was merely the ironic mention of a hypothetical second meeting in the first place. Remember, as soon as those Blue Devils came up a few points short of a Final Four berth via a loss to Michigan State on March 31, Big Blue Nation began dishing out — in typical fashion and despite the Wildcats seeing their season end on the same day — what it can’t take: quips about star-studded casts coming up short of a national title.

After all, Kentucky tipped off its 2018-19 campaign at No. 2 in the AP Poll, two spots higher than season-opening foe Duke; plus, Herro just admitted that, in his mind, his litter was better than Zion’s pack.

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Anyway, putting aside the cat and dog jokes, the Virginia Cavaliers got the nation’s last laugh on April 6, 2019. Simple as that. That said, sincere thanks to Herro for providing what the world needs more of right now: a good laugh.

Stay tuned to Ball Durham for more updates, analyses, and opinions regarding all things Duke basketball.