Three best Duke basketball greats to have as quarantine-mates

The conspiracy theorist

Look, no doubt it is vital to see general agreement regarding steps to take in times like these. On the other hand, without critics and skeptics, we’d all be left with the scary reality of having to believe whatever the powers that be choose for us to believe.

That, of course, is where a guy like former Duke basketball one-and-done Kyrie Irving comes in handy. The No. 1 overall pick from the 2011 NBA Draft, who appeared in only 11 games as a Blue Devil due to a toe injury and is now with the Brooklyn Nets, has drawn eternal ridicule for his past flat-earth statements and the likes (most recently being his citing in January of a “crucified Martin Luther King Jr.” when addressing his view on the criticism that comes his way).

Though I don’t align with most of what comes out of Irving’s mouth, I deeply admire his courage to stand up to anyone who either questions or teases his right to believe whatever he wants to believe:

Besides, Irving comes across as a dude who often opts for time alone to enjoy his own free thought, which would be a bonus should this make-believe Duke basketball quarantine get to the point where we all get on one another’s last nerves. Furthermore, during dessert time, the rest of us could enjoy some good-hearted chuckles by asking Irving to describe the shape of the Milk Duds we find in Cameron Indoor Stadium’s concessions.

To be fair, Irving is a charitable man, as just last week he donated more than a quarter of a million dollars to a food bank. I’d also like to point out that I’d like to pass the time by learning a thing or two from the ballhandling mastermind and then putting Irving’s pointers into practice during our frequent two-on-two scrimmages.

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Make no mistake, though, the quarantine-mate I’d want to team up with for said scrimmages is neither Shane Battier nor Kyrie Irving. No, I’d need on my side the kind gent who’d be the most helpful in keeping us all on the same team for our entire shelter-in-place duration…