Duke basketball icon Zion Williamson sells himself short to MJ

By inking a shoe deal with Jordan Brand, Zion Williamson gave at least one Duke basketball fan no other choice but to boycott his shoe.

I tried all day to hold it in, but I just can’t. I have to vent: No Duke basketball player, coach, or fan should ever wear shoes, shirts, or pants with a silhouette or name of a former UNC player — no matter that player’s accomplishments.

Ever since I was in elementary school during the late 1980s, I’ve often felt like I am the only Dukie on the planet with strong enough Blue Devil values to not forsake them by succumbing to the peer pressure to don any apparel honoring Michael Jordan.

A few friends and relatives — the ones who didn’t know any better — would occasionally give me such a T-shirt as a present. My solution was simple: wipe, burn, repeat.

I thought this was just common sense for any Duke basketball fan. But as I grew older and continued witnessing an unacceptable number of my fellow Dukies sporting Air Jordans or whatever, I came to the disgusting conclusion my view of common sense was not as common as I assumed.

Shame on all of you.

And in the case of Zion Williamson — he signed over his soul for $75 million over seven years to Nike subsidiary Jordan Brand on Tuesday, per a tweet from Adam Zagoria — his choice to associate himself in any way with MJ was beneath his greatness and also financially unnecessary (chatter suggests other companies were also willing to offer more than $10 million per year).

Though I adore Zion and will forever be happy for him as he rakes in money bags, I also feel it my Duke basketball duty — as one who spent a lifetime studying Jordan’s expansive flaws as a human being — to provide a few warnings.

First of all, as is continually proving to be the case with the Charlotte Hornets, any organization with Jordan in a decision-making position is doomed to fail. His narcissism leads to poor decision-making (see: every waking moment Jordan spent whenever wasn’t on a court as a player gambling away more than what 99 percent of us will earn in a lifetime).

Look, it’s simple: Zion is helping Jordan’s brand far more than Jordan is helping Zion’s brand.

ALSO READ: Zion Williamson goes No. 1 to Pelicans with eyes on MJ’s crown

Adults don’t buy the bulk of the shoes. Kids do. And most adults haven’t a clue what kids want.

As an adult who is actually still more kid, this is where I come in:

Telling a 10-year-old about how amazing Jordan was back in the day is the equivalent of some old fogey boring the 10-year-old me in 1991 with tales of the man who is the NBA logo, Jerry West (the end of West’s career, which began in black-and-white, was about the same number of years before my birthday as the end of Jordan’s career was to the birthday of today’s 10-year-old).

In other words, the youth don’t much want to “Be Like Mike” anymore.

In typical Jordan-like fashion — aka, the opposite of Zion due to Mike’s total lack of humility — he bragged about the signing of Zion in a way that made it seem as if Jordan Brand was the primary benefactor in the arrangement.

"“He told us he would ‘shock the world’ and asked us to believe him. We do,” Jordan said, as reported by ESPN’s Nick DePaula."

Believe in Zion? Get out of here. Here’s the pertinent question: Why should Zion believe in some sad 56-year-old dude touting as pure gold some brand that only includes seven percent of the NBA? (The biggest names with signature Jordan Brand sneakers are Chris Paul and Russell Westbrook.)

Again, stick to replaying your good old days inside your growing noggin, Jordan, and get out of here with all the hot garbage you keep hurling in a futile attempt to stay relevant forever. Your best days are behind you, and Zion’s have yet to begin.

As I explained months ago, Williamson had a far more lucrative option: the ZION Brand, owned by Zion.

SEE: Duke legend Zion Williamson could own shoe company

Or he had an option to take a little less from another company with a little less pull in the industry — which wouldn’t have remained the case after the Zion effect — and would have kept this Dukie from having to go on this tirade.

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Don’t “Just Do It” because of the allure of the money and the brand name, Zion. “Just Do Better” than Jordan ever did as a player (the hard part that will take years) and as a person (the easy part that is already complete).

Hopefully, you are just keeping secret your noble plan: becoming an unprecedented worldwide sensation and acting on your leveraged power someday to demand the Jordan Brand undergoes a name change to ZION, thereby eliminating one more Tar Heel name from infecting the future.

If you and other Dukies don’t start doing your part to rid the world of UNC advertisements — no matter how high this one Tar Heel flew or the number of clutch shots he hit — then I vow to save up as much money as I can to help save the environment for future generations by buying up as much of the foul merchandise as possible for use as toilet paper and as fuel for bonfires.

Dang, Zion, I really was hoping to buy your shoe as a present for a young Duke basketball fan I know. But that option is now unacceptable for this Duke basketball fan.

My royal-blue moral principles just won’t allow it.

Stay tuned to Ball Durham for more updates, analyses, and opinions concerning Zion and other former Duke basketball players in the NBA.