It looks like we made it…all the way to the Final Four. It’s been a long road of clueless predictions and now we’re down to four teams and three games. If you missed all the fun and excitement of my earlier predictions, then you’ve really wasted your life. However, thanks to these things called ‘links’, you can go back and rediscover these so-called predictions.
– Check out Round One here. – Check out Round Two here. – Check out the Sweet 16 & Elite Eight here.
It’s been a wild ride, so lets go ahead and put this baby to bed.
FINAL FOUR
#2 Tennessee over #46 USCAll the celebrities are in San Antonio this week, including Peyton and Eli Manning decked out in all orange (despite all the excitement, Peyton still looks like he’ breaking down defenses in his head). However, no celebrity is bigger than actor, rapper and poet, Snoop Dog himself. In fact, Tim Floyd let’s Snoop address the team prior to the game. Unfortunately the entire Trojan team receives a contact buzz off of the Dogg. They come out sloppy, all except Ryan Wetherell, who seems to play quite well with a buzz…almost like he’s use to it. Makes you think, doesn’t it? Anyhow, the team can’t compete, forgetting how to run a simple pick-n-roll. Tennessee rolls in the first half and never looks back. Deciding that what he needs is another little point guard to get USC over that hump, Tim Floyd announces after the game, the Trojans have offered a scholarship to Lil’ Bow Wow.
#1 UCLA over #4 PittsburghAll week long, all anyone can talk about is how brilliant Bobby Knight looks for picking the Panthers to win it all. Despite all the praise, Knight still won’t crack a single smile. In fact, Knight starts to feel uncomfortable and just to make himself feel ‘normal’ again, beats a production assistant with a chair when he delivers the coach a bagel with no cream cheese. As for the game, Pittsburgh plays a solid game, actually having a decent lead down the stretch. However, after a big basket late, Levance Fields dislocates his thumb, banging on his chest. The Bruins go on a 10-2 run to end the game, winning by tw0.
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
#1 UCLA over #2 TennesseePrior to the game Sunday, most experts will be talking about Duke, as everyone compares UCLA to the late 80’s Blue Devil squads…the last team to go three straight years to the final four and NOT win a title (88-90). Also, despite being in the final four, Bruce Pearl is still complaining about not only be a #2 seed, but being stuck in the same region with overall #1 North Carolina. Meanwhile, somewhere in America, Travis Henry has impregnated two more women. Anyhow, in the national title game, UCLA looks like a team that’s been here before takes control early in the second half. South Regional MVP Chris Lofton struggles mightily, hitting only 2-14 shots. The Bruins win their 38th title (I may need to research that) by beating Tennessee 74-64. Two days later, Kevin Love is caught in a hotel with two gay hookers. Oregon fans were right all along!!!
